Smile
by Heart Torn Out
Summary: Dean's feeling down. Like seriously. The world isn't ending and he's still alone. And that's just... not fair. He can't even force a smile anymore. Can a well timed visit, a few soft words and a listening ear help? Destiel attempted pre-slash.


**I wrote this cuz i was obbsessed with the beginning of the song. That's it though. Then I never finished it. So i went back and was like, what's this? I found it and opened it and read what i had and finished it. So there.**

**Dean: How creative of you. I'm like Sam in this!**

**Sam: Hey!**

**Gabe: Don't worry Sammy-boy. I think he's talking about your bitchiness, not your looks.**

**Sam: *to Gabe* _HEY_!**

**Dean: *laugh***

**Gabe: *laugh***

**Cas: O.o Do not worry Samuel. I assure you. You're brother is NOTHING like you. In looks or acts.**

**Gabe: Or you know...**

**Cas: O.o *headtiltoftheLord* I do not know.**

**Gabe: O.O**

**Dean: I.I**

**Sam: *laugh***

**Eve: He means SIZE Cas.**

**Cas: Oh. *thinks* Well then yes. Sam is much bigger than Dean.**

**Gabe: *snorffle***

**Sam: *in hysterics***

**Dean: *facepalm***

**Eve: N-not, not like hieght-size wise or weight. I meant- *whispers into his ear***

**Cas: O.O**

***a few minutes later***

**Cas: Then, compared to wait Gabriel has told me of their... sexapades, yes. Dean IS bigger.**

**Eve&Gabe&Sam: O.O**

**Dean: *leer* Thatta boy. You tell 'em.**

**And I'll stop the obsceneties here, yes?**

**Discalimer: I own not the Brothers Winchester and thier cohorts. I wish dearly that it was so and they were mine, but alas, t'was not meant to be. Ah well.**

**i don't ove 'Smile' by Michael Buble. Eh. I no like his musica much, but he seems like a nice guy. So there.**

**ONWARDS MY FELLOW MAN!  
(And women)**

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* * *

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**Smile**

_Smile though your heart is aching._

_Smile, even though it's breaking…_

"Screw it," Dean muttered, punching the radio button in and cutting off the slow song before it even got a chance to start. He didn't feel like smiling. Not really. Not at all.

Some people would ask why. Dean would tell them to screw off. Some people, those who knew him better, would guess why. Dean would tell them they were wrong. And other people, the ones that knew him the best, they would know why, but were smart enough not to say anything. Dean silently thanked these people, mostly with his eyes and the fact that he hadn't said the first two things to them.

So why was Dean in no mood for a smile?

Because he was alone.

Sam had come back from hell. He had no soul. Then Sam had gotten his soul back and he had seen the world in a whole new light. He had thanked Dean, told him he was the best brother in the world, that he loved him and that there was no one like him.

And then, he had asked Dean to drop him off with Sara Blake in the hopes that he could start a life with her, away from hunting, but safe in the fact that she understood his past job, knew what was out there and was willing to be with him despite that.

And what was Dean supposed to do? Say no to him, after a year and half in Hell? No, he had nodded, spoke with him and had a brotherly time as they made their way back to Ms. Blake and then he had said goodbye to Sammy forever with a last word of 'Holler if anything is trying to kill you.'

And then he was gone.

Dean had a feeling he wasn't going to see Sam for a while. But the look of happiness on his face when Sara found out he was back was enough.

And then, Bobby had left on an especially long hunt in Bermuda that Dean was suspicious was just a really hard-won, much-needed vacation and the old man had asked him to stop by the old place once in a while to check the mail and such.

Slowly, Dean realized, the people that meant the most to him were drifting away and he could honestly do nothing about it.

He hated being helpless.

Dean also hadn't heard from Castiel in a while. Not since Sam got his soul back, actually, and that was a few months back. And that was also bothering Dean, probably more so than anything else. Cas always checked in, not that he had to, but Dean liked to think that he wanted to make sure he was still around… waiting.

Although, waiting for what got at the hunter sometimes, since he had no clue.

Dean sighed, getting out of the car, and into Bobby's house, going up to Bobby's spare room. He was at the old hunter's home this week. Actually, he'd be staying there until he decided what he was doing next. He honestly had not one hunt, and when all the bad guys were lying low, it would figure that Dean really wanted something to punch.

He threw himself on the bed. He had spent yet another day fixing up his baby, eating whatever Bobby had in the fridge, which, hey, wasn't much, and watching reruns of _Dr. Sexy M.D._ He officially declared to himself that he had no life. Officially.

Dean turned on his side, wanting anyone to be there. Anyone. Hell, he'd take annoying Samuel Campbell, estranged grandfather extraordinaire. Maybe even Meg. Nah, he thought to himself. Not that bitch. She definitely wasn't worth it. She had kissed Cas, practically molested the poor angel.

It bothered Dean. He tried to focus on why, but no, his mind refused to go there.

So be it.

Dean rolled onto his back and then looked over to see what the time was. His alarm read 10:30. Damn, it was too, too early.

He wasn't going to get any sleep anytime soon. Damn.

Smile, Dean urged his lips. What had Sammy said that one time? That your mind didn't know the difference if you smiled, even if you weren't happy, it still sent those happy juices to your brain? Dean tried. He did.

But how the hell do you smile when you're all alone? Truly all alone?

You don't.

He sighed, the sound shaky even to his own ears though he would never admit it.

_Smile though your heart it aching._

_Smile even though it's breaking…_

Stupid, stupid song. Who the hell was singing it anyway? Dean thought. It made him feel like he wasn't trying hard enough to hide how sad he was feeling. But, what the hell? In the past when he had been around others, had Sammy to think about, he had plastered a fake smile to his face and dealt with it.

But this time, it wasn't just emotional stuff, it was personal. His brother, gone. His surrogate father, gone. His angel…

He shook his head. He had no right to be calling Castiel _his_. The angel wasn't a dog. He was more powerful than him and whatever pitiful army Dean could ever come up with. He only helped Dean because he was choosing to. Dean had nothing on him, absolutely nothing. He had no control over the beings decisions. He didn't know why he thought he was oh so special.

_Smile. Just smile_, he begged himself. Fake it till you make it. Or, in his case, he was probably going to break it.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of fluttering and he groaned.

"Dean? Are you unwell?" Dean turned to see Castiel, head tilted, looking concerned. _Now_, Dean thought, _fake a smile now_. _For_ him.

It wasn't happening.

"I'm fine Cas," Dean said, looking at the ceiling so he wouldn't have to lie to the angel's face. Nothing was going right today.

He felt the bed dip and then looked over to see Cas sitting on the edge. "You do not seem fine. What ever is the matter?"

Dean propped himself up on an elbow and looked at Cas. Did he actually care? "Nothing Cas. Say, why the hell are you here anyway?" He mentally winced. Why was he such an ass to this being? Why? When he had done everything Dean had ever asked and never really questioned him? Why?

Castiel made a face of disapproval. And Dean hated it. He always hated it when the angel was disappointed in him. Always. It wasn't fair. He always screwed. He wondered why the angel pulled him out, sometimes. Hell, who was he kidding. He wondered all the time.

"Because you were worthy Dean," Castiel answered, blinking, face in distress.

And Dean didn't reprimand him for snooping in his head this one time. He was being a little bitch, brooding just because he was the only one who wasn't happy in the world. He needed to stop feeling sorry for himself and do something about it, instead of sitting around and waiting for someone to do it for him.

And as he looked at the angel, he thought, why not start now?

"Hey, Cas," he said, the angel tilting his head when Dean spoke, all attention on him. Dean liked that. It was… nice. Hmmm… "You wanna... stick around. Stay for... I dunno, dinner or something? Sammy's with Sara," he couldn't say gone, not now not ever, "Bobby's snuck off to Bermuda. Its just me here. And I... I haven't seen much of you lately. It'd be... nice to catch up." He blinked a little at Cas's blank expression. "That's if you want to," he added quickly. "I don't want you to feel like you have to, 'cause you don't... you know." Why was he rambling?

Castiel smiled. Actually, honest to God smiled. His lips went up in a grin, stretching, and his eyes crinkled at the corners. Dean found he couldn't look away, not really, not at something so enchanting and beautiful as _that_.

"You can't make me do anything Dean," Castiel said, a slight laugh to his voice. "And yes, I'd also...like that. Catching up...and... dinner?" He sounded slightly unsure. But he still had that smile.

And Dean found himself smiling. For the first time, he was seriously smiling. Smiling like he meant it and really meaning it. For Cas. That was interesting. Very interesting.

"Yeah, c'mon. Let's head down. I'll scrounge something up," Dean said, still smiling and secretly wishing that he had actually gone grocery shopping for once. Oh well. He'd think of _something_.

"Very well," Castiel answered, the smile getting a little wider as Dean smiled and then blushed.

"What?" the hunter asked.

"You're smile. Its nice to see," was all the angel offered, taking off his trench coat as they walked into the kitchen.

As Cas started aimlessly talking about artifacts that he found while looking for Heaven's Weapons, and he started the stove going, water boiling, Dean thought, as he smiled again, that yeah. It was nice to see. On Cas too.

Maybe this could work...

_And if you smile  
Through your fear and sorrow  
Smile  
And maybe tomorrow  
You'll see the life  
Is still worthwhile  
If you just smile._

~FIN~

**So? What say you my loves? A nice try at pre-slash? Yes. Maybe?**

**Dean: I- No comment.**

**Cas: It was simple. And sweet.**

**Sam: Yeah.**

**Gabe: Where the hell was I? At least Sam was MENTIONED. Why was I not?**

**Me: Technically, your dead.**

**Eve: *nodnodnods***

**Gabe: U.U You don't REALLY believe that, do you?**

**Eve: *shakes head***

**Me: Honestly? No. But hey, the writers do what the writers do.**

**Gabe: Well then... *wiggles eyebrows***

**Sam: . *rolls eyes***

**Dean: *throws arm around Cas***

**Cas: *smile***

**Eve: *snaps picture***

**Review? For me and the above demented, dysfunctional family I have built in my ANs?**


End file.
